المجلس العالمي للتسامح والسلام

Raising a confident child proves to be the parents’ primary task!

By Dr. Antoine Al- Chartouni

What could be the most difficult task parents can perform? Everyone agrees that education is one of the most difficult tasks for parents. No one can deny the importance, skillfulness and difficulty of raising a child. However, when we talk about difficulty, it does not necessarily mean that child rearing is impossible, especially if parents are fully aware of the stages of their children’s intellectual, social and cognitive development.

Child rearing is an art that must be mastered by parents who must help their children in the development of social adaptation skills, and must help them learn to have respect for the values prevailing in the Human Society. Education is known to be based on the characteristics of the father and the mother, as it is also based on the love, respect and harmony they share in the family, which helps the child to acquire these principles which are the essence of education.

Raising a Child Correctly

Proper education lies in understanding and listening – i.e. to follow up on their child’s intellectual and cognitive development. In this sense, they will be able to understand in which stage of development their child is, so they would not expect of him/her wait to do what is inadequate for his/her age. Also, parents should listen carefully to their child, which helps them understand the child and his needs through discussion and conversation.

Among the behaviors that help raising children positively, we mention:

First, knowing well one’s child: what he likes and what he does not like, so that we can help him reduce his fits of anger. Some children repeat the words “I do not want” as a way to call for attention and say “I am here”. The child uses this method to draw our attention only, but the reactions of his parents may vary, they can sometimes turn violent and cruel, as they find in his refusal an undisciplined behavior. In this case, parents should talk to their child about the subject that is directly bothering him, or participate in an activity that he likes for about 10 to 15 minutes, during which he will discuss the things that are bothering him and try to find suitable solutions for them.

Second, consecrate a special time to your child: the child likes to be the center of attention of his parents, and this is normal as he has the full right to feel this way. Consequently, parents must give their children all their time and attention in order to ensure that they receive a proper and sound education that suits their intellectual development.

Third, the use of the child’s mistakes as learning rules: Every mistake committed by the child during the day can be an important lesson for him. The task of the mother and the father here is to explain to the child in a simple, calm and logical way where he did wrong, thus, he will understand the result of his indiscriminate behavior.
Fourth, encourage the child to correct his mistakes, after he has broken a toy, torn a paper or wrote on the wall. In this case, he must compensate for all these inappropriate acts. The mother should help the child find solutions to his rejected behavior, and maybe ask him: “How will we clean the wall?” Finding solutions to problems is a social skill acquired by the child in his home, in the nursery, and then in his school.
Fifth, encourage the child to participate in all kinds of housework: a mother can ask her 7-year-old child to participate in cleaning his room based on the principle of enhancing his sense of participation and sense of responsibility.

Sixth, develop his sense of responsibility: We make the child responsible for himself, especially at the stage where he seeks to impose his personality and presence and try to free from the control and power already enforced on him.

Seventh, boost the child’s confidence by encouraging and congratulating him: This is a very important feature, which helps the child to progress, even if the progress in size is simple and small. When he takes his first steps, his encouragement and support leads him to develop his self-confidence in order to walk better later on. Parents should replace the sentence “you can’t do it!” With the word “try to do it”, to encourage him to perform certain tasks and develop his character and ensure his progress on the intellectual and cognitive levels.

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